Alone in a Room Full of People
by Dr. Earnest Love
Summary: When something happens that changes everything you know about yourself, how are you supposed to deal with it? What else changes? Is it possible to get everything back? EdwardJacob, Mpreg, serious drama without the usual cliches, I hope R


It was mass chaos in the Forks Hospital. Not the usual kind of chaos. After all, there was normally some level of uneasiness in the hospital, as there always is in such places. But this chaos was not of the norm. It was almost absolute chaos, if a few more people were included in the loop of unrest.

There was an incident similar to this a few years ago, an incident which involved a non-vampire giving birth to a vampire's child, however odd it may seem. An incident which was of such an unusual sort that it managed to upset the rather delicate balance of the town of Forks. And an incident which, ironically, seemed to be repeating itself now, with a few key variations.

The woman of carriage, for instance, wasn't really a woman at all. No, it was a male. It was an inhuman male, but a male nonetheless.

The male in question was currently unconscious, courtesy of the authorized drugs of which the vampiric doctor put him under the influence.

The father of the child, also ironically the father of the previous vampire child, was, meanwhile, every kind of panicked. Had he his way, he would be in the room with the poor bearer of his child. Unfortunately, he was informed, the room was already far too crowded with the most elite and dedicated of doctors and nurses to hold one more person.

Currently, he was pacing about nervously in the waiting room, doing everything but waiting patiently for news of the one who was the center of all this quite frankly unwanted attention.

"Carlisle," he growled, reaching out to grab onto the white lab coat of the passing doctor. The addressed took a calming breath and turned to his son.

"Edward," he said. "I have no more answers now than I did ten minutes ago. If you keep stopping me to ask me the same questions, you will slow my progress considerably, which will not bode well for Jacob." The fledgling scowled and his hand tightened convulsively around the arm of the doctor, who removed it without much trouble, but with warning.

"Carlisle, do not treat me like a child—"

"I cannot help but treat the childish—"

"—now, when Jacob is like _this_!"

"—as _children_."

There was a ringing silence and the two dead men looked at each other as the silence rang around them.

_Beep…beep…beep…!_

Carlisle jerked and turned away from Edward, cursing as he hurried towards the room which held the phenomenally pregnant male.

"Carlisle, what—"

"Edward, _stay here_!"

Carlisle disappeared around the corner with several other nurses, leaving Edward to wallow in his worry and nervousness alone. Again.

"Dammit!" the young vampire cursed. If blood still pumped in the veins that he didn't have anymore, it would be boiling over within him that very moment.

"Edward."

Edward stopped his raging and inhaled slowly, unclenched his fists and closed his eyes.

"Jasper," he acknowledged. "I don't think I'll be able to stress quite the extent to which you would _not want to be here_ right now." His blond brother appeared with a solemn visage.

"I was worried," he said simply. "Your emotions are hard to ignore, even when I don't know what they are." He grinned and Edward offered an empty chuckle for his brother's efforts.

"I don't think you need to be an empath to know what I'm feeling," he mused. Jasper immediately sobered and looked hard at Edward.

"Why him, Edward?" Edward released a breath, aware somewhere in his mind what Jasper was doing. He played along.

"Why Alice, Jasper?" he retorted gently. "And why still love me if I love him?" Jasper narrowed his eyes.

"How do you interpret what I say, Edward?" he asked. His brother turned to him with a crease in his brow.

"The way it's meant," he responded. Jasper's teeth grit together behind his lips and he almost took a step towards the ignorant fledgling, who was older than him.

"You have the ability to read the minds of anyone in the world, sans one woman who is no longer a part of your life, yet you understand so little about me. How is that?"

"How is that?" Edward repeated absentmindedly, his eyes back on the ward again. Jasper bristled.

"Listen to me, Edward," he commanded. Edward didn't turn to him.

"I _can't_, Jasper. Not when Jake is like this." Jasper eyed Edward carefully and moved towards him, laying a hand on his shoulder once he reached his destination.

"You _have to_, Edward," he said with a firm tone. "Carlisle knows what he's doing, have you so little faith in him that you don't believe he can save the pup?" Edward sighed and his head sagged with a resignation so obvious that Jasper knew only a blind man would have missed it.

"Their voices are jumbled together," he choked. "All one big collective mass. Will he make it? This has never happened before. I can't believe I have to keep this _quiet_, Jasper! It's all one. Big. Cynical. _Ball_. Of negativity! Most of the doctors and nurses don't believe he'll survive any sort of childbirth if he chooses to go through with it, and, at the same time, they don't believe that he could survive an abortion! The rest are wondering why they shouldn't just tell the press about this right now and bask in their fifteen minutes of fame. And _then_ they remember the large sum of money that Carlisle gave them to keep it quiet!

"And what if it does get out? Tell me that, Jasper? What if word of this gets out, say, twenty years from now, when we've all forgotten about it and it becomes one big mess all over again! I can't let that happen to him, but I _can't do anything to stop it_!" His voice echoed against the walls of the very empty waiting room and Jasper was at a loss.

What do you say to man who's faced with the prospect of losing everything? You know what to say to a man who's lost everything. It'll be okay, I promise, you still have me. But what to say to a man who hasn't quite lost it all yet, but still just very well might?

"Edward, I—" Jasper tried anyway. "Carlisle is doing the best he can to remedy this. We all want him to make it through this."

"Do you!?" Edward snarled, whipping around to face his brother. "Do you all want Jake to make it through this? I remember when Bella was in this state. You all loved her so much you were _beside yourself_ with worry! Not just because I was directly affected by it, but because you all _genuinely_ cared for her! What about Jake? The last time you saw him, you left the room with a sneer of derision. Rosalie wouldn't stop yelling about it, Emmett only fueled the fire, and Esme did _nothing _to stop it. Why? I don't know! But let me tell you something." Edward was now inches from Jasper's face, looking straight into those golden eyes with an anger that nothing could subdue.

"The moment I need your pity or your concern will be the moment when _I _am the one in that hospital bed with a child _randomly_ growing inside of me. It will be the moment in which I _don't know if I'll live or die_." Jasper fell back a step and, once again, had no response to Edward's desperation and fury. His breathing was labored as his brother's anger flowed into him and he knew right then and there that he had to distance himself from this onslaught as soon as possible.

Edward took no offense whatsoever as he watched Jasper turn and rush from the room with as much composure as was…inhumanly possible. He simply turned back around and dropped himself helplessly into one of the cheap plastic chairs against the wall.

"Jacob…" he pleaded. "Please…_live_."

* * * * *

Three torturous hours later, Carlisle was walking out of the ward and into the waiting room. Edward, recognizing his thoughts, sprang from the chair and bounded over to him.

"Well?" he urged. "How is he?" Carlisle looked at him with a very small hint of a smile.

"He's stable," he assured the distraught undead. "We've performed all the tests we can at this point and thankfully we know that he can go through with an abortion safely with no more or less risk than a normal human woman." Edward stiffened at the word normal, but relaxed with relief as the good news of his beloved registered in his mind.

"Thank God," he breathed. Carlisle watched him with a pained look on his face and waited a moment to continue his report.

"But." Edward tensed and looked at him again. "We don't know if he'll be able to survive a Cesarean section. Obviously, natural childbirth is out of the question, as he has no visible birth canal at all and, furthermore, barely any room to deliver a fully developed infant without bodily harm to himself or the child. Right now, he's still unconscious and I'll need his consent before we do anything else with the child.

"And, we still don't quite know how it happened." Carlisle watched Edward's reaction carefully and moved closer to his son to offer any sort of support he could. Edward nodded robotically and cast his eyes down to the clean speckled floor as his mind went into overdrive.

"What are your theories, Carlisle?" he asked with an even tone. Carlisle, ready for this, felt his heart sink in his chest with apprehension.

"I have only a very few," he forewarned. "None of which really make any sense now—"

"What _are_ they?" Edward ground out. Carlisle swallowed imperceptibly and proceeded.

"Well, I did suppose that, perhaps his body had been preparing itself for this, knowing it to be a possibility because it recognized that Jacob's imprinted would be a male," he explained. "The only problem with that—"

"Is that I'm not Jacob's imprinted," Edward hissed.

"Exactly." The young vampire took an unsteady breath and ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"Well, this is perfect," he said satirically. "Thank you, Mother Nature, for stroking my ego so very much!" Carlisle watched helplessly as his son reached out and threw the nearest plastic chair at the wall.

"Edward," he said firmly. "Stop. This isn't helping him at all. The best option for you, right now, is to wait before making any decisions until you listen to what I have to say." This seemed to pull Edward from his rage-induced stupor and he reigned his emotions enough to walk calmly back to Carlisle with a mixed expression of compunction and reluctant resignation.

"Tell me everything," he whispered. Carlisle was off.

"To begin with, Edward, you know that males – of any species – were not made to carry or give birth to offspring. Our bodies were not made for that. The only way one can tell this externally, as it applies to anthropomorphic beings, is by looking at our hips." Here, he broke off and pulled back his white coat to reveal his dress pants-clad hips. "Too narrow. Women, generally, have very curved figures, while men possess more angular frames. There's just not enough room for a fetus to develop in a man's body. It's just not done.

"And, what's more, men don't have the necessary organs for the job. Jacob doesn't either, which is why this makes no sense to me. He doesn't have ovaries, a uterus, or a birth canal, three very vital parts of childbirth. All he has is a makeshift womb that's providing the only shelter the developing child has from any of his body fluids that might be toxic to it." Edward had heard enough.

"So, what you're saying is—"

"What I'm saying, Edward, isn't quite all I have to say, and you will listen to all of it without giving any more interruptions." Edward clamped his mouth shut and glared at his father. Carlisle continued.

"Now, the child itself, since it has little to no room to develop in his body, has settled itself close to his spine, which could prove to be dangerous to Jacob." At this, Edward perked.

"How?" he demanded. "What could happen?" Carlisle held up his hands, a gentle signal for Edward to be patient, he was getting to it.

"We know that the child will continue to grow as is normal, however we can't predict _how_ it will grow, how large it will grow; in layman's terms, in what direction it will grow. All we can say is that it will develop outward from its current position.

"But, its current location considered, there's a very real possibility that the child could jar the spinal chord, which, depending on the severity of the impact, could lead to temporary or even permanent paralysis in his lower body." Edward stood frozen, staring at the doctor who had given him what he considered the worst information in his life.

And, oh, how Carlisle _hated _himself at that moment for being the one who bore such terrible news to a son so precious to him.

"Edward, you have to understand that—" he started.

"What else?" Edward cut in. Carlisle blinked.

"What?"

"There's something you're not telling me. I want to know what it is," Edward ordered. Carlisle closed his eyes and sighed, preparing himself for hopefully anything.

"His body doesn't recognize the child as a child," he said patiently. "It's seen instead as an abnormality and thus his body will try to expel it as soon as possible, via the three main methods of expelling waste; regurgitation, perspiration, and excretion. When Jacob comes to, he'll most likely have an awful fever, diarrhea, and he'll be vomiting nearly all the time.

"There's also the issue of the placement of his internal organs. Since the child needs room to develop, several bones and organs have been…repositioning themselves to accommodate the intrusion. That's going to amount to quite a bit of pain for Jacob." Edward's face was twisted into a painful expression, as though he felt the pain along with Jacob, and Carlisle again wondered if Edward and Jacob _really weren't _destined for each other.

"What else?" Edward managed. Carlisle's chest constricted and he moved towards Edward, fully intent on conveying his concern and worry any way he could.

"_No_!" Edward growled, pushing himself away from Carlisle. "_Not_ you too! _Please_, Carlisle, _don't_." Carlisle's eyes widened and his outstretched hands froze.

"Edward…" he breathed in shock. "What..? What do you mean? What don't you want me to…do?" Edward turned to face him with tortured look.

"Do you want Jacob to live?" Edward inquired. Carlisle looked at him with something of an incredulous look.

"Edward, do you honestly think I want him to die? The one who makes you so happy?" Edward's eyes flashed and he held a hand up to silence Carlisle.

"But, do you want _him_ to _live_?" Edward persisted. "Or do you want his life to guarantee that I keep living mine?

"I don't _need_ the concern you're all giving me! Jacob does! He's the one faced with death! He's the one faced with the concept of not knowing the consistency of his _own body_! That should take precedence over a melodramatic vampire who doesn't know the meaning of normal!" Carlisle opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by a young intern who had most likely run all over the hospital to find and tell him that he was needed somewhere. And, indeed that was the message.

"He's regained consciousness, and he's going crazy! The other doctors told me to get you and bring you back to the room!" the young man cried in a rush. Carlisle groaned an "oh no" and quickly started to follow the young intern, but was stopped by an iron grip on his arm. He turned to see Edward's determined features.

"I'm coming with you," he said. Carlisle whipped his head around to look after the rushing intern and then quickly swiveled it back around to survey Edward with a look of intense appraisal. After a moment he nodded and hurried after the young man, followed by his terrified son.

"You might be the only one able to subdue him!" Carlisle called out to Edward.

Just as they reached the room, Carlisle turned and placed a firm and powerful hand on Edward's collarbone.

"You need to remain in control, Edward," Carlisle warned and Edward swore he could hear a growl in his normally gentle father's voice. He didn't dwell on it and quickly hurried into Jacob's room.

Immediately, his eyes sifted through the cluster of hovering nurses and doctors as they sought out the supposedly conscious form of his wolf. When he found Jacob his instincts had him at his side in an instant, regardless of who saw him move, and regardless of who saw the ungodly speed at which he moved. All that mattered to him was Jacob.

Jacob, who was struggling wildly against the five doctors who had him pinned to his bed. Jacob, who was crying out incoherently through what looked like sporadic bouts of pain. Jacob, who needed him _right now_!

"Jacob!" Edward called out to him, shoving the doctors out of the way so that he could just get closer to the young man in the hospital bed. "Jacob, calm down! Jacob, you're fine, you're fine, I promise! Come back to me, Jacob, come back to me!" He was whispering now, and lowering himself down to Jacob, now that he was calming.

The young wolf, breathing hard, clenched his hands around the sheets and succumbed to the soft tone of Edward's voice.

"Ed…ward…" he gasped. "Where a…are you?" Edward pushed himself up to look clearly at Jacob, his eyes growing wide with alarm.

"He can't speak through the pain," he said urgently to himself. "Carlisle…Carlisle! We need you!" And, as Jacob's face contorted itself in pain again, Carlisle was at his side and reaching in front of Edward to get Jacob into any state of calm that he could.

"We need to put him under!" one of the nurses said.

"No!" Carlisle shouted instantly. "We can't risk anything happening to the child by giving him more medication! We took a gamble with that first dose!" Edward looked incredulously at Carlisle.

"What!?" he shouted. "Carlisle, you're just going to leave him in pain, so that this demonic _thing_ stays alive!?" Carlisle grabbed Edward's shoulders and forced him away from the bed, despite Edward's struggle.

"The child is already developing abnormally fast, Edward, and I'm not sure what effect it could have on Jacob if its natural growth is disrupted!" he said quickly. Edward stopped struggling and turned to look at Jacob, completely torn between getting rid of the thing and listening to Carlisle, the one best qualified to rid him of his pain.

"Edward!" Carlisle probed. Edward waited for another moment, deliberating between the two choices, before he nodded.

"But I'm not leaving him!" he declared, fixing his eyes on Carlisle's. Carlisle nodded without a thought and hurried back over to Jacob, leaving Edward alone and helpless once more.

"Jacob…"

* * * * *

"What…the hell?"

"Oh, God, Jacob."

"…Edward?"

"Yes."

The storm had passed in the Forks Hospital and a level of calm had washed over everyone now that Jacob's life and health was no longer at immediate risk.

Edward was perched on Jacob's bed, peering at him intensely, resting his hand atop Jacob's. Jacob was looking all around the room, trying to remember how he got himself into a hospital, or, better yet, why he was in a hospital.

After a moment, he gave up and decided to ask.

"Edward," he started, trying to hide his shock at how scratchy and weak his voice sounded. Edward leaned forward and kissed the crease in his confused brow.

"What is it, Jacob?" he breathed. Jacob blinked, confused.

"Why the hell am I here?" he asked. Edward winced against the skin of his forehead but didn't pull away as he answered. He actually held tighter.

"You're pregnant, Jacob," he replied. "With my child." As he predicted, Jacob tensed against him and croaked, "What?" Edward sighed and pulled away, positioning both his hands on either side of Jacob's face, and gazed into his eyes.

"You are pregnant, Jake," he repeated. "You are with child. My child. That's why you're here." Jacob sat stock-still for a minute and then shook his head free from Edward's hold.

"No," he denied. "I am _not_ pregnant! I _can't_ be! I'm a damn _guy_, for fuck's sake!" Edward leaned forward and grabbed Jacob tightly, pushing him back against the bed.

"Stop it, Jake, you are pregnant," he said in as soothing a voice as he could manage. "Carlisle confirmed it—"

"Then Carlisle is _wrong_!" Jacob insisted with vehemence. "There is _no way_ that I could be – be – that I could be _pregnant_!" Edward gritted his teeth and pushed back the wave of irritation that came from Jacob's stubbornness.

"But you _are_, Jake," he whispered. "We can show you all the scans if you want to see them."

"No," Jacob said immediately. "No, you don't – I don't need to see them. I – I believe you." He spat the words out as though they were poison and Edward's brows furrowed at the sound.

"Jake?" he tried. Jacob didn't answer. "Jacob?" Still no answer. "I understand." Jacob made no protest as Edward pulled him forward into his arms to rest against his chest.

Like this, he could feel the shivers of anger and fear that shot through the young pup. It _killed_ him to know that he could do nothing to stop Jacob from feeling this way, and it was even worse knowing that he had caused this hurt.

It was the second time that he had caused so much _suffering_. And it cut to the core.

"Dammit, Edward, your mental angst is making me even more on edge than I was two seconds ago." Jacob's voice rang through his mind, breaking through his haze of self-hatred and abuse. But the words themselves did nothing to ease his "mental angst." He growled deep in his chest and clung to Jacob with more need than he ever recalled feeling in his life.

"I did this to you," he said through his teeth, locking his eyes on the whitewhite wall behind Jacob's head. "_I _put you here, Jake. It's _my fault_."

"Suck it up, emo boy. I'm here and you can't change that by bellyaching about it." Edward chuckled against Jacob's head, taking in the scent of the boy he loved so much.

"But—"

"I _swear to God,_ Edward, if you so much as mention how much you hate yourself for something you think is your fault, I will gut you. I don't think you really know how many people have been putting up with your crap for way too long now, but the number's _pretty big_,and you are _going_ to cut it out today, or we are so over you won't fucking know what hit your undead ass." Edward laughed at this, and it would have become crying if he was still human, but the most he could manage as he was, was one shuddering breath. Jacob provided the tears that he lacked.

"I don't want this, leech," he bit out, burying his head against Edward's shoulder as the angry tears fell from his eyes and onto his clenched fists. Edward squeezed him in acknowledgment and agreed wholeheartedly.

"I know," he laughed bitterly. "It sucks." Jacob grinned against him and clasped a hand around his neck, pulling him closer.

"Amen to that."

And they sat together silently, wallowing in togetherness until Carlisle returned with news and updates.

"Carlisle," Edward said expectantly, separating himself from Jacob to face the doctor. Carlisle tried to muster up an encouraging smile.

"I know, Edward," he said. Edward ignored him.

"Tell him everything, Carlisle," he said sternly. "Tell him everything you told me. Exactly as you told me." Carlisle nodded and began his explanation.

By the time he finished, Jacob's face was white and Edward's hands were clenched by his side.

"Jacob, we can't do anything until you tell us your decision," Carlisle finished. "Do you want to have the child?" Jacob was mildly startled by the abrupt question. From what he knew of this leech, he could be very blunt at times, but he had no idea that he could be this brutally to the point.

"I—" And, truth be told, he wasn't quite ready for it.

Edward was resting his lips against Jacob's temple, and an arm about his waist. At Jacob's utterance, he pulled his beloved closer.

"Don't push yourself if you're not ready, Jacob," he said gently.

"You should take some time to think over this decision, Jacob," Carlisle assented. "Discuss it with Edward. I'll be back soon. I need to look over the results of those scans. Is there anything you need?" He looked only at Jacob when he said this and Edward took note. Jacob shook his head and mumbled his thanks. Edward caught Carlisle's eyes and tried to convey his gratitude with a look. Carlisle understood and winked. And left Edward and Jacob alone together. Again.

"Jacob," Edward began immediately. "Do you want the child?" Jacob was silent as he ruminated over possible answers.

"It could paralyze me," he repeated, voice hollow. "This kid could make my legs useless." Edward didn't respond to the statement, and when Jacob leaned away, the vampire stood and took a step away from him. Jacob didn't need to be stifled while making a decision like this one.

Jacob sat without moving for a good half hour before finally waking up long enough to ask Edward one very important question.

"Edward," he asked clearly. "Do you want the child?" Edward, who had, until that point, been staring blankly out a window, turned quizzically at the sudden inquiry.

"Do I want the child?" he repeated. Jacob nodded in affirmation, focusing his gaze on Edward, much to the vampire's dissertation. Edward returned the gaze and remained quiet.

Did he want the child?

"Edward."

No.

"No."

"No?"

"No. I don't want the child."

And Edward had never been more certain of anything in his entire life.

"I want you."

Scratch that, he could.

* * * * *

Carlisle returned an hour later to ascertain that both Jacob and Edward were doing well and to see if Jacob had come to a decision.

Unfortunately, it was not to the calm tension that he had left an hour and a half ago.

"Edward, I don't want you to think about me when you answer the damn question! Do you want the child?"

"And I've already answered this with every bit of honesty within me and then some; _No_, I do not want the child! Jacob, I do not want to father a child that could very well kill you and that I did not want to begin with!"

Both men sounded furious. Carlisle quickly entered the room, "What's going on?" ready on his tongue. He didn't quite get a chance to pose the question.

"God, you stupid leech, do you want the kid!? I'm just looking for honesty, here!" Jacob was red in the face.

"And I'm just giving you what you want!" Edward looked the same as ever, but his eyes were flashing.

"_Exactly_!" Jacob screamed. "And I'm not looking for what _I_ want, I'm looking for what _you_ want!"

"_You_!" Edward yelled back. "I want _you_! I don't want some godforsaken child that could compromise _your life_ and leave me without the most important thing to me in the world!" Jacob threw his hands up and groaned.

"Aaaaagh! You're not _getting _it!" he despaired. Edward let out a barking laugh and turned away with a mock resigned gesture.

"Well, then _explain_ it to me, Jake!" he sneered. "Explain to me what I'm not getting! I'm telling you what I want, and I'm answering your question! Tell me what I don't get that's clearly so important to you, _please_, the suspense is _killing me_!" Jacob snarled at him and power-walked right over to the enraged vampire.

"What you're not _getting_, leech," he glowered. "is that I don't want you to think about _me _when you answer the damn question!" Edward stared, openmouthed, at the wolf.

"How can I not, it's _your_ child!" he exclaimed. "How do you expect me, in the name of—"

"Shut up," Jacob said through gritted teeth. "And just listen." Edward stopped his rambling and gave Jacob a very pointed yet urging look. Jacob closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Just," he said in a voice of forced calm, opening his eyes. "Just say that there wasn't any more danger to me than there was to any regular chick who got herself knocked up. Would you want the kid?"

"Jacob, that makes no sense," Edward pointed out. "What are you asking?" Carlisle waited for Jacob's answer with as much anticipation as Edward. It was a confusing concern that Jacob seemed to have.

"I'm asking – Ok, scratch that." Jacob broke off and clenched his hair in shaking fists. He inhaled once, deeply, then exhaled heavily before turning back to face Edward. With an unusual expression on his face, he reached out and gripped Edward's face with both hands.

"Just suppose," he tried. His voice shook again, but this time, it wasn't because of the effort required to keep his temper in check. "Just suppose that none of – none of _this _is happening. There's no risk. I'm not gonna lose my legs, I'm not gonna – I don't know, I'm not gonna die—" Edward's breathing turned sharp and his hands jerked at his side. Jacob continued on, oblivious.

"If it was normal, Edward. If it was just another generic baby, except ours. Would you want it?"

Two pairs of eyes were locked and Edward knew that he needed to give Jacob an answer. He knew that Jacob needed something from him, something as simple as a "Yes" or a "No", but he also knew that he just—

"I can't," he said. He looked at Jacob with his deep golden eyes, _begging _him to understand, _pleading with him_ to just accept his previous answer.

Jacob held his gaze with his searching eyes. When he saw that Edward was being totally honest, even hurting, he nodded and pulled their bodies together.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Jacob said into his hair. "I just wanted to—"

"No more," Edward sobbed. Jacob couldn't feel any tears. "No more of this, Jake. _Please_, stop doing this, and just tell me what _you_ want." His arms were suffocating to Jacob, but he only burrowed himself deeper into the embrace. He opened his mouth to give an answer but nothing came out. Edward tried to smile.

"You should make this decision on your own," he said, and there was almost a hitch in his voice. Jacob pulled away from him abruptly and glared hard at him.

"What?" he asked. Edward didn't move.

"Let me leave you while you make this decision," he said. "I shouldn't be an influence on this decision." Jacob's glare became incredulous.

"What the hell do you think that'll accomplish?" he snapped. "_You're_ the father too! I would think you'd want to have a say in whether or not your kid lives or dies!" Edward's face screwed up as he watched Jacob.

"You're the one who's having the child, Jacob." He wouldn't relent. Jacob's expression turned frantic. He moved back towards Edward and reached out to him.

"Don't you make me decide this by myself, Cullen!" he warned. "Don't try to wriggle your way out of this!" Edward resisted the temptation of Jacob's arms until the tears sparkling in his eyes became apparent. When he saw Jacob's pain, he threw caution to the winds and crushed the wolf to his chest. Jacob fisted his shirt and held on, shouting obscenities at Edward even as the vampire held him with so much constricting love.

Cries of "don't leave me" were mixed with declarations of "I love you" and soon it wasn't clear who was saying what.

Carlisle, lost in the background from the moment he stepped foot in the room, finally tore himself from the sight before him and left very well alone what should not have been disturbed.

Edward and Jacob were alone in the room once again.

* * * * *

"Edward." The young vampire "hmmm"ed in his throat and Jacob turned to him. "What's your stance on abortion?" Edward chuckled and smiled listlessly.

"Pro choice," he said simply. Jacob nodded and let his head fall backward with a sigh.

"I don't know, Edward," he wondered. "If I choose to abort the kid, will that make me a killer? My dad's never exactly hidden his feelings when it comes to people who murder their children."

"You're not murdering a child at this point, Jacob," Edward explained patiently. "If it were a one-month old infant, then it would be murder. I'd rather lose an unfeeling, unknowing, unborn child than the love of my undead life." He turned and smiled at Jacob.

"And I know for a fact that you aren't completely at ease with the idea of raising a child, much less giving birth to one, Jacob. And I want whatever makes you happy." Jacob's eyes were closed and his mouth was upturned in a small boyish smile.

As Carlisle predicted, a fever was slowly taking hold of Jacob, now that the medication was wearing off, and Jacob was flushed and shivering, with blankets up to his chin.

"Don't give me that romantic bullshit, Cullen," he admonished, joke clear in his voice. Edward smirked and chose not to respond. Jacob took advantage of his silence.

"Hey, Eddie," he said quietly. Talking was taking much more effort than it should have been. "If I choose to have the kid and I end up dying because of it, couldn't you just turn me into a vampire?" He watched as Edward's brow creased in thought and maintained a fairly decent poker face when Edward eventually shook his head slowly from side to side.

"I'm not sure what kind of effect my venom would have on you," Edward said, and there was fear in his voice. "There have never been any werewolf-vampire hybrids. That could be because no vampire has ever attempted to turn a werewolf, or it could be because every werewolf that has been subjected to a vampire's venom has died from it. Quite frankly, I'm not willing to take that chance with you." Jacob rolled his eyes but posed no argument.

"And aside from that," Edward continued. "Becoming a vampire is a very painful process. No matter what the creature that is being turned." Jacob's look melted into one of deep curiosity.

"How do you figure?" he asked. Edward's head turned to face the whitewhite wall in front of him and his expression melted into one of bitterness.

"Well, to become a vampire, one has to be dying or only just dead," he stated. "And, at that point, your body is still technically functional. A vampire is, by definition, the living dead. Which means that all of the necessary systems for life need to be alive, while your body is no longer living." At this, Edward paused to let out an ironic laugh.

"I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well at all," he said with a grin. Jacob snorted and hit his arm.

"Just keep going," he demanded. "I'm following just fine." Edward looked dubious but proceeded anyway, pushing back the pain that came from the mere thought of losing Jacob.

"Well, when one is turned, it's almost as if the essence of his life and soul is locked away in a jar while his body decays around him. At the same time, your life and soul are still very much attached to your body, so you feel yourself dying at every moment." Edward winced.

"And it hurts. Immensely," he finished. Jacob watched Edward pause with an odd feeling in his chest. He'd never seen Edward hurt on his own behalf before.

"It hurts?" Jacob wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. "What was it like for you?" Edward took a breath and inclined his head, looking, for all the world, as though he didn't want to answer that question.

"When I was turned," he began. "I was dying of the Spanish Influenza. I was never able to safely sleep without fear of death, and there was never a moment when I wasn't in pain.

"Carlisle found me, then. And he turned me immediately. I was a vampire before the day's end.

"However, I wasn't in the clear yet. I was technically dead, but my body had not given out on me. Nature had to run its course on my body. She can only be defied temporarily. And I had defied her long enough.

"So, my body remained in a feverish state and died within the next few days. That was when I truly became a vampire." His tale finished, he closed his eyes and breathed an unnecessary breath. Jacob stared at his back with a disbelieving stare, wanting it to be untrue; wanting to believe that Edward _hadn't felt that much hurt_.

"And you just about disappeared off the face of the earth?" he concluded, after a long contemplative pause. Edward snickered cynically.

"Basically," he agreed. "I couldn't well return to the hospital a walking corpse. My parents were dead. My family was dead, so no one would notice my absence, and there were more people dying every day. Coffins were lined up at every wall, waiting to receive the dead. They wouldn't miss one seventeen-year-old boy who suddenly disappeared just as he was about to die. That's not worth their time." Jacob tilted his head to the side.

"You don't sound bitter about it," he observed. Edward shrugged offhandedly.

"My family was dead," he spat with hurt derision. "So there's no reason to regret becoming what I am. I couldn't have been saved, so I don't blame them for giving up on me. There were others who needed their attention. Others who could have been saved."

"They?" Jacob wondered.

"Humans," Edward clarified. Jacob's mouth became an "O" as comprehension dawned on him.

"But, my life is not the point of the matter," Edward said. His voice was forceful as he tried to push the memories from his head. "The point of the matter is that you can't become a vampire without going through an extreme amount of pain, more than I'm willing to allow you to bear." Jacob shook his head and pushed himself into a sitting position with a grunt.

"What about Bella?" he asked pointedly. "I don't recall her going through any pain because of you turning her. That satanic kid of hers was what caused her all that suffering." Edward's hands tightened at his side and he choked on his words.

"Her body was all but dead when I turned her," his voice was cold and hard as he sneered. "Renesmee was destroying her whether she liked it or not. Her body couldn't handle the strain and gave out just before she became a vampire. Any pain she experienced in her body would have been minimal. And, anyway, Isabella Swan will always be one of the world's greatest mysteries." Jacob smiled at this. When Edward was completely silent, he leaned back against his pillows and fixed the vampire with a probing gaze, ignoring the stabbing pain that was slowly blossoming in his side.

"It hurts to talk about it, doesn't it?" he accused. "Your past?" Edward's shoulders slumped and his body sagged forward. Jacob bit his lip again as Edward's head disappeared from his sight. He mumbled something that Jacob couldn't understand.

"…What?" Jacob inquired hesitantly. Does even their lover have a right to ask after someone's past?

A tremor wracked through Edward's body and there was a tense moment of oppressive nothingness.

"Of – course," Edward managed to force from his throat, though he felt the contraction of his muscles throughout his body and it _hurt_. Nothing more was said on the topic and Jacob may as well have been alone in the room.

* * * * *

It was mid afternoon when an unexpected visitor entered Jacob's room.

Jacob was lying in his bed, looking generally troubled, trying to ignore the sounds of the machines that surrounded him, and Edward was standing in the background staring out his favorite window, willing the fear and anger in his body to become serenity. He didn't turn even as the aggressive thoughts reached his mind.

"Jasper," he acknowledged. "What are you doing here?" Jacob's eyes snapped open as he registered the unfamiliar visitor, most likely by the smell, and he turned to glower at him.

Edward's question went unanswered. Jasper cut straight to the chase.

"Has a verdict been reached?" he demanded, looking down at Jacob with a fire blazing in his voice and eyes. Jacob looked up at him with a noncommittal face.

"Is it your business if we have decided?" he snarked. Jasper's lips thinned and he took a step towards the lounging wolf, intent on extracting an answer from him one way or another.

"Don't try me, now, pup," he warned. "Just answer the question." Jacob shrugged and let his head fall back against the pillows with maddening indifference.

"No, we haven't made the decision, yet," he said passively; simply, as though he were merely chatting about the weather. Jasper twitched and quickly turned around, trying to regulate his breathing.

"The emotions in this hospital are overwhelming, Edward," he gasped. "It's impossible to ignore them unless I leave the place entirely."

"So, then, why don't you?" Edward drawled. Jasper jerked as though angry.

"Alice won't let me," he said thickly. "She thinks this is a perfect opportunity for me to learn more _control_." At this, Edward pivoted on his foot to face his fledgling of a brother.

"If you really wanted to leave, Jasper, Alice wouldn't stop you," he said matter-of-factly. Jasper scoffed and whirled back around to face his infuriating sibling.

"I _know_ that, Edward, but do you think I could really leave this place when I know that you're here, in a condition that's everything but stable?" he growled. "From where I come from, Edward – and you know this – family comes _first_."

"In more ways than one," Jacob mocked with a smirk.

"You—!" Jasper launched himself at Jacob, who was up and out of the bed in an instant, but never got a chance to receive the blow.

"Jasper, calm down, it's not worth it," Edward soothed, grasping Jasper's shoulders as he leaned in close. "The wolf is so good at angering me, too, but don't lose yourself for something so meaningless." Jasper struggled against Edward's hold, but Edward held fast to him and refused to let the angered vampire's gaze leave his own golden eyes. Jasper's were darkening, but Edward knew it wasn't hunger. They had only fed a mere two days prior.

It was anger; disdain; _loathing_. Jasper truly _loathed_ Jacob. Edward could _feel _it.

"Jasper…"

Jasper tensed at Edward's voice and pulled away from him again. Edward held him still, knowing what it would mean to let go. Behind him, Jacob was still standing with his eyes on the livid vampire, only one bad word away from phasing.

"What the hell's your problem!?" Jacob demanded. "Why'd you—"

"Jacob, shut the hell up!" Edward shouted. "You're only making it worse!" Jasper wrenched himself away from Edward again and Edward grunted from the effort of keeping him in check.

"You want to know what my problem is, you mutt!?" Jasper raged, craning his neck forward towards Jacob, desperate to reach him and tear him to shreds. "Right now, it's _you_! _You're_ my problem, you pathetic dog!" Jacob scoffed and moved towards the two struggling vampires, anger and rage filling his body to the point of near overflow.

"Oh, it's me, is it, leech?" he taunted. "I figured! But, you know something, I don't quite know why. Why don't you elaborate a little!" Jasper snarled and reached his arm past Edward towards that _damned dog_ but was shoved back another foot.

"You and all this pregnancy shit!" Southern Jasper was starting to shine through now. Yes, it was true that Rosalie was the one known for being tenacious, and Emmett, for being brash and irrational, but Jasper could come in a close second to either of them. When he was in the right mood, that is. His temper was something he had retained from his human years.

"Oh, so you're blowing a fuse right now because I got knocked up, is that it!?" Jacob spat, his voice rising with his temper.

"_Exactly_!" Jasper roared, making another grab for Jacob with one hand while the other worked furiously at ridding his shirt collar of Edward's iron grip. "That's exactly why I'm blowing a damn fuse right now, because _you're _pregnant, and it _shouldn't be my family's problem_, but it _is_! We're all caught up in this because of _you_!" Jacob's mouth dropped and he threw his hands out, palms up.

"Oh, it's _my _fault!?" he yelled indignantly. "I never asked you to come here, you just did, and it's _my_ fault!? Maybe it's just my primitive doglike mindset and general stupidity, but I don't fucking get how that works out!"

"_Jake_!" Edward hissed, thrusting a hand out, just as he leaped forward, to stop him from attacking Jasper. Jasper took advantage of the lack of restraint and lunged, stopped miraculously by Edward. Jacob was faring against the barrier no better.

"We _have _to be here right now! And it's not because we care about _you_, it's because of our _brother_! If Edward loses you, we all know he'll try to follow and we don't want to risk losing him, he _needs us here_!"

"Jasper, stop this!" Edward gasped, pushing the two apart with all the strength he had. How ironic it would be, fighting to keep Jacob safe from his child, only to have his brother kill him instead.

"So _now_ the cards are on the table!" Jacob barked with a sarcastic sneer. "I'm just here doing the fox trot, Edward's angsting because he doesn't know how to dance, and you're all here to pat him on the back and make him feel better, is that it!?"

"You don't know _how _to take anything _seriously_, do you, you flea-ridden dog!" Jasper hollered. His face should have been a beet red, but his lack of blood made that impossible. "Edward is _killing himself_ here, so that someone will be here for you and you—"

"_Excuse me_, for a minute, _leech_, but I never asked him to be here, either!" Jacob retorted, seemingly unaware of the look Edward flashed in his direction before turning his attention back to the task of mediating the situation. "And, last time I checked, _he's _not the one with a kid growing inside of him that could kill him! _I _am!"

"And you're not even grateful for his presence here, you're not _thinking_ about how this could be affecting anyone—"

"You're just—"

"You have _no idea_ how much this is _hurting him_!"

And suddenly, Edward felt no more struggle from Jacob. His eyes shot over to the wolf and he saw resignation; apology; _regret_.

And slowly, as Jasper recognized the unspoken admission of defeat, he ceased his fighting and just settled for glaring at Jacob.

Jacob backed away from Edward and Jasper and fell back onto his bed. His eyes glazed over and he brought his face down to his hands. Both vampires watched him quietly.

"Fine," Jacob conceded into his hands. Jasper's eyes narrowed.

"Speak up," he hissed. Jacob looked up at him fiercely.

"I said fine, okay!?" he cried. "I want this damn kid outta me and you want the drama to stop. Seems we have _some_ kind of common ground! So, we agree, I'll get an abortion! Now, get the hell out!"

The stabbing had returned and was again wreaking havoc on his body, only now it was ten times worse than before.

Jasper turned without a word and started to leave, but Edward grabbed his arm, preventing his escape, and took a halting step towards his wolf, foreboding filling his body like a chilling sweep of icy water.

"Jacob…" he started.

"I said," Jacob choked. "Get. The hell." Deep shuddering breath. "_Out_!" He was leaning forward now, bent completely in half and clutching his stomach, in obvious pain.

"Jacob!" Edward flew to his side and tried to straighten him out to survey the damage, but Jacob cried out and pushed him away. Before them both, Jasper stood unmoving. Edward called out to Jacob once more, received no response except his dry choking breathing, and then turned to his brother.

"Get Carlisle, Jasper," he commanded. "_Now_!" Jasper hesitated for only one moment, saw the desperation in Edward's eyes, and disappeared from the room. Edward turned back to Jacob, frightened of the vulnerability he saw in the wolf.

"Jake…" he tried. His voice was heavy and fully aware of what was going on, as much as Edward himself tried to deny it. "Jake, what's wrong?" Jacob was writhing about on his bed, trying desperately to avoid the piercing pain in his abdomen.

"It –" Gasp. "It _hurts_!" Short rattling breath. "_Edward_!"

"_Jake_!"

"Edward!" Carlisle flew into the room and ripped Edward away from Jacob's side, eyes wide and body chilled with panic and fear. The vampire fell back and Jasper latched onto him from behind.

"Hold him, Jasper!" Carlisle ordered. "Someone get over here and _help me_!" What appeared to be scores of doctors and nurses came flooding into the room, all prepared and ready to help in any way they could.

Edward's cries and struggles went unnoticed by all except Jasper, and soon after, Emmett, who hurried into the room to help subdue his brother. Rosalie and Alice were waiting just outside of the room with Esme. All three pairs of golden eyes were locked on Edward, Jasper, and Emmett and each of the vampiric females were waiting with baited breath as the two sane males dragged the maddened one from the room.

Carlisle was left alone with an agonized and pregnant werewolf, upwards of ten expert doctors, and an extremely unlikely possibility of success.

* * * * *

Edward allowed himself to be placed roughly in one of those cheap plastic chairs in the waiting room. He pulled his arms from his brothers' grip and put shaking hands to his head.

All around him his family stood, watching him anxiously. Alice was the one who approached him first.

"Edward?" she asked in a gentle voice. "Please, Edward, don't do this. Don't close yourself off from us." Edward's head shot up and he looked at her with raised brows.

"Fine," he said. "Happy? Let's talk. You first." Alice blinked and leaned back a little. Her lower lip was quivering as she watched her brother's pain take its hold on his heart, soul, and body.

"Edward, please just tell me what—" she started. Edward laughed and sprang up from the chair.

"Tell you what, Alice?" he rambled. "What's wrong? Is that what you want to know, Alice? You want to know what's wrong?" Alice sighed and brought her hands together before her mouth, a nervous habit of hers that she never quite broke.

"No, Edward, that's not—"

"Well, then, fine! I'll tell you!" Edward continued on. "The man I _love_ is in there, stuck right in between life and death, with nothing and no one to help him except the people who are _paid _to do it! You're all out here, the family of that man's _lover_, and all you can bother yourselves to care about is me, the one who is totally. Completely. _Fine_!" Alice stood and walked unflinchingly towards Edward and reached out to him.

"Edward," she said, small but firm hands clasping together about his neck. "We're all worried about Jake, okay? We promise you. But, the last time you were in this situation, you were threatening to _kill yourself_ if the one you loved died first. Are we so wrong to be panicked about this?" Edward glared at her, well aware of the truth her question posed. He shook his head and looked away from her, and his eyes found her mate.

"Jasper!" he demanded, separating himself from Alice and heading in his direction. Jasper held his ground and waited patiently as Edward moved towards him.

"Jasper, what the hell were you thinking?" Edward was blunt and to the point. "You try to _attack _Jake. What do you think that would have accomplished?" He looked expectantly at Jasper, who turned to face him squarely.

"This is hurting you," he replied easily. "So much more than I have ever seen or felt you hurt, Edward. I don't like it." Edward fell back a step at the blatant honesty of the admission.

"Jacob is not the one who is hurting me, Jasper," Edward corrected. Jasper's face showed a flash of defiance.

"He's the source of the problem," he argued. "A problem that needs to be solved before you…before something happens that we all regret."

"And yelling without reason at the man with whom I am in love isn't something to regret?" Edward challenged. "Jasper, I never once—"

"You blame yourself for this, Edward," Jasper insisted. "You've made that clear. It isn't your fault, and he's not trying to—"

"Tell me that?" Edward finished in disbelief. "Jasper, that's _all_ he said to me when he came to!" Jasper's face looked strained and exasperated.

"I realize that, Edward," he returned. "I know what he's done for you and I am always going to be eternally grateful for that, but—"

"But we just don't like the damn mutt." All eyes turned to Rosalie, who was standing off to the side with her arms crossed in front of her chest, an old reclusive habit she never quite broke. Edward turned back to Jasper for affirmation or refutation and found his answer when Jasper cast his eyes to the ground. Edward stood for a moment, saying nothing, then took a step back; away from Jasper, away from his family.

"Oh." He looked at Jasper. "Well, that explains it." He was silent for another moment and then he turned his gaze on each of them in turn.

"Then tell me something," he said calmly. "Do you want me to leave him?"

Silence.

All of the questioned vampires looked at one another in quiet askance, unsure of who should venture an answer first.

Esme was, as Edward predicted, the one who took the stand.

"We just want you to be happy," she whispered and her voice was shaky and wet. Edward could feel his mouth fall open and could tell that his eyes were widening.

"And that's exactly what I said to him." He licked his lips and began a slow pace about the room.

"Oh, god," he breathed. "I want the child, but I want him to live. You want me to leave him, but you want me to be happy.

"Why is this happening?" Edward turned to face the wall and clutched at his hair desperately. Esme made to move towards him but was stopped by Alice, who shook her head sadly. Edward faced them all again.

"What do you want?" he demanded. "What is it that you all _really_ want? It can't be just my happiness, because you're all so upset with the man who makes me happy, and it _can't_ be me leaving him because you've all shown me time and time again that my happiness is important to you. So, what is it that you want?" No one answered and Edward turned to Rosalie.

"This should be easy for you," he accused. "You're the one who had the balls to tell the truth before. Why not a second time?" Rosalie looked at him with hard eyes and nearly bared teeth.

"Because I don't know which one I want more," she admitted. Edward froze.

"And that's true for all of you?" he asked. Jasper's breath turned ragged and he quickly sat down, hand clutching the fabric of his shirt. His eyes were wide and locked on Edward's form.

"Edward," he grit out. "You—" Edward turned to him and he pushed himself up and towards his brother.

"Jasper?" he acknowledged quizzically. Jasper choked again and almost stumbled away from him. Edward watched him carefully.

"We're hurting you, too," Jasper mumbled. "Aren't we?" Edward flinched and hurriedly burked Jasper's eyes. The young vampire would have none of that. Without a thought, he reached out and forced Edward's face to his, and captured Edward's gaze.

"Please tell me," Jasper pleaded. "I don't want to hurt you." Edward looked at him with solemn eyes and laid his hands on Jasper's face.

"Yes," Edward muttered to him, resting his forehead against Jasper's. "You were hurting me." Jasper made a throaty noise and made to shake his head but Edward's vice didn't let him. Edward smiled and maneuvered his head so that his cheek and Jasper's were touching. Like this, he could feel Jasper's shaking and he moved his hands to hold his brother securely against him; one hand at his back, the other about his shoulders.

"But I love you too much to hold that against you," Edward whispered into Jasper's hair. "I know how much I've hurt you in the past, and I'm so sorry for that."

"I can't consciously like him unless I'm doing it for you," Jasper said, his voice muffled by Edward's neck. "I can't even _tolerate him_. Unless I – unless you ask me to."

"Then please try," Edward implored. "I love Jacob so much, and I refuse to make any choice between him and my family. It's selfish of me, but I want _both of you_. I need _both of you_." At this, Jasper did manage to pull away from Edward so as to look his carefully in the eye.

"If he dies—" Edward expertly hid a wince and shook his head vehemently.

"Then I will become a depressed vampire plagued with endless sorrow for all of eternity," he said honestly. "But I won't kill myself. Jacob would hate me forever if I did." Jasper's face remained impassive. The two vampires looked at each other without blinking, surrounded by their vampiric family.

And they were all as far from alone as they had ever been.

* * * * *

"Is it out?"

"Yes."

"…"

"Jacob?"

"…Were you really hurting as much as…as much as your…as much as _Jasper_ said you were?"

"…Yes."

"…I never wanted you to hurt." Edward leaned closer to Jacob.

"If you are ever in pain, I will hurt with you. That's how love works." Edward smiled and placed gentle kisses all over the wolf's knuckles. "At least that's how my love works." Jacob blinked furiously as he watched Edward shower him with love and affection and gave a bitter laugh.

"I need to stop making this about me, don't I?" Edward stared at him silently. Jacob made a noise frustration and slapped his palm against his face.

"Okay, you talk!" he said loudly. "You tell me what you were going through during all this! What about your family? Just talk about you!

"Good fucking _god_, I feel like such a fucking douche!" Edward chuckled.

"I'm afraid, love, that this time, it was all about you," he admitted. "And most of the drama was your fault." Jacob looked up at him with an exaggerated expression; one that made Edward laugh.

"Damn, I was afraid of that," he said. "Well, then, you'll just have to patch up the shit that I messed up for you. Sorry I can't do much." Edward laughed again and gently kissed the lips of his Jacob.

"Is that a double negative?" he chuckled. Jacob grumbled and pulled away from Edward.

"Shut up, you know what I meant, leech," he groaned. Edward shook his head fondly.

"Yes," he said, chastely trailing butterfly kisses down Jacob's neck. "I do." Jacob sighed heavily and closed his eyes as Edward continued his tender ministrations.

"Jacob?"

"Hmm?"

Edward pushed himself up onto his forearms and gazed down at Jacob. The wolf grinned up at him and playfully bumped his cheek with a fist.

"What up?" he joked. Edward raised his eyebrows at that and gave Jacob a reproachful look.

"You sound like Emmett when you do that," he scolded. Jacob sniggered.

"Hey, Emmett's kinda cool," he protested. "He's as white as it gets, but he can still pull off the whole street thing." Edward was not amused.

"I wasn't aware that you were racist, Jake," he said seriously. Jacob looked at him incredulously.

"You can't seriously think I mean that!" he emoted. Edward tilted his head accusingly. Jacob smacked him on the shoulder.

"Come on, man!" he exclaimed. "Can't a guy make a joke and _not_ get his head bitten off? Yes, bad pun, intended!" Edward tried to hide a snicker behind a cough.

"That wasn't a joke, Jake," he deadpanned. Jacob shrugged.

"Fair enough," he said. "I just never imagined that one of the undead could pull off 'rad.'" Edward shrugged.

"Fair enough," he agreed with a smirk. "But I never got a chance to ask my original question. And now I'm not sure how seriously you'll take it." Jacob tsked and made a very distinct "oh well" face.

"It is not my fault, Cullen, that you're so easily distracted," he admonished. "You shouldn't get off topic so easily." Edward didn't answer; only smiled down at Jacob.

"And now you sound like Esme," he accused gently. Jacob sobered and returned the smile.

"Well, I sure as hell hope you don't imagine her when we have sex," he laughed.

"Make love," Edward corrected, before leaning down to capture those lips again.

* * * * *

The medication was starting to kick in now, and Jacob was just about unconscious, lying back on his bed while Edward absentmindedly stroked his hair and stared out the window.

"Edward?" He turned to see Carlisle walk into the room with Jasper. His poor sire looked completely and totally exhausted, and Jasper didn't look much better.

"What is it?" Edward started to push himself up from Jacob's bed. Carlisle quickly checked the machines that Jacob was once again hooked up to and then signaled for Edward to come to him. His son obeyed.

"I need to speak with you about something, Edward," Carlisle said. "Jasper is going to stay here and keep an eye on Jacob while we're gone." Edward blinked.

"Jasper?" he clarified. Carlisle nodded and Jasper took a step forward.

"You refuse to have him left alone and you won't allow me to leave anyone outside of the family to watch him, yes?" Carlisle summarized. Edward nodded. "And Jasper has volunteered. I thought he would be the one whom you would be most comfortable with watching Jacob." Edward didn't deny it and Carlisle gave a finalizing nod.

"Very well, then, Jasper, we'll be back soon, and Edward, if you would follow me." Carlisle left the room. Edward turned to Jacob and his eyes lingered on his almost sleeping form for a few seconds. Jasper placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded when he met Edward's eyes. Edward inclined his head once, turned, and left after Carlisle.

The door shut and Jasper sat down in the chair right beside it.

"You know…" Jasper turned his head sharply towards the bed. Jacob was facing him with a look of mellow disbelief. "You don't have to…look like you have a stick up your ass." Jasper blinked at this and remained silent. Jacob groaned and turned his head to face the ceiling.

"You're making me pretty nervous here…man…" he sighed. When he received no response again, he tried to lift his hand to his head in exasperation, failed, and dropped it back to his side.

"Fine, I'll talk…" Jacob decided. "You can just…listen. Or…not." Jasper, predictably, did not say anything.

"Okay…So," Jacob started. "You're Edward's brother. I know that. So, you prob'ly…have your own little story, too, right?

"You know…like, where you came from…or something?" Jacob was looking at Jasper again but still, the fledgling said nothing. Jacob released an annoyed breath but didn't look away.

"Alrighty, then…that's a no-go," he deduced. "So, what about…uh…maybe I should…then…" He broke off and shook his head. "Damn medication. Making it impossible to talk." Jasper looked at him oddly and Jacob felt oddly proud.

"Okay," he pushed. "Gonna try to…sit up, here." And he shoved himself up onto his elbows and shifted so his back was resting against the rail at the end of his bed. Jasper was watching him carefully, one hand against the back of his chair, feet poised. Jacob let his head fall back with a grunt and there was a loud thump that echoed through the room. His breathing was slightly heavy and he took a moment to regulate it.

"Okay," he said again. "There we go. Now…" He pivoted his head around to face Jasper and struggled to keep it from lolling onto his shoulder. When he was ready, he grinned and made a fist to match his uttered "Yes!" Jasper was looking at him in puzzlement now.

"I guess," Jacob said determinedly. "I really owe you…a friggin' huge apology." Jasper said nothing. Jacob continued.

"Sorry. I really shouldn'ta'…taken that potshot…at you. For the record…I agree with you about the whole…family thing." Nothing.

"So…yeah…sorry."

"…"

"…"

"Why did you agree to the abortion when I lost my temper?" Jacob started at Jasper's sudden inquiry and his eyes shot open. His face screwed up slightly as he contemplated his answer and Jasper waited.

"I think…" Jacob answered finally. "I'm pretty sure it was because…I've never seen you lose it like that…Not even when I'm around, and you…don't want me – around." Jasper swallowed and his brow furrowed.

"You must love that bastard…if you could stand up to his douchebag of a boyfriend…and say 'stop it, asshole'…Right?" Jasper was silent and his hand clenched around the back of his chair.

"And…you were so scared…of losing him, you know? I could smell it, and it was starting to freak me out a little." Jacob's eyes were half-lidded, and his words were starting to slur.

"But, I mean nothing to you," Jasper offered. The protest sounded weak, though, even to his ears. Jacob lifted a shoulder in a would-be shrug and struggled to pull his eyes open.

"True," Jacob admitted. "I hate your guts. But I still…respect everything you believe in…And you, to a…lesser extent." Jasper broke eye contact and fixed his eyes on the whitewhite wall behind Jacob's head.

"And I guess I…I kinda want someone like you…in my family."

* * * * *

When Edward and Carlisle finally returned, it was to an unusual sight. Jasper and Jacob _not_ screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. Jasper was leaning forward slightly in his chair, eyes on Jacob, who was leaning haphazardly against the railing at the back of his bed, completely asleep.

Jasper was on his feet as soon as the door opened. Edward moved to Jacob instantly and repositioned him on the bed, tenderly placing his head on the pillow and his limbs in a position that was not nearly as akimbo as before. Jasper and Carlisle watched this silently.

"So, nothing noteworthy happened, Jasper?" Carlisle guessed. Jasper shook his head, eyes still on the two lovers.

"Nothing, Carlisle," he confirmed. Carlisle nodded with a smile.

"That's what I like to hear," he said. Jasper nodded absently and brought a hand up to his eyes slowly, trancelike. Carlisle blinked and "hmm"ed as Jasper's hand moved around his left eye and to the bridge of his nose. Comprehension dawned on him as Jasper pushed upward gently.

"Used to wear glasses, Jasper?" the vampire asked with amusement. His son let his hand fall to his side.

"When I was fourteen," he replied. "I always had to use Father's reading glasses. Nearsighted." Carlisle "ahh"ed and turned back to Edward and Jacob, feeling somehow lighter than he had a moment ago.

Still leaning over Jacob, Edward chuckled and raised his eyes to survey his brother.

"I never knew that, Jasper," he said. Jasper smiled smally at the smile in his brother's voice and nodded. Edward took one more moment to exchange silent words with Jasper and then looked back down to Jacob. Jasper's face became indifferent once again and he followed his brother's gaze to Jacob's prone form. His eyes narrowed in thought and he bit the inside of his lip.

"Jasper." Edward looked up at Jasper solemnly and nodded. "I won't. Thank you." Jasper tilted his head stiffly and left. Carlisle watched him go with a furrowed brow.

"Edward?" Edward's eyes were on the door.

"He told me not to let him go," Edward said lowly. "What happened while we were gone?" Carlisle laughed and smiled after his son.

"Is it too much of a cliché if I say a miracle?"

* * * * *

"Jacob, wake up."

"Mmrngggh."

"Jacob, get up."

"Mmmggmmgo'way."

"…Jacob, if you don't get up now…"

"Shu'up."

"…Steps will have to be taken."

"Mmmgah…tol'ya't'shu—GAAAHH!!"

"I told you."

"What the _fuck_, Edward!? Did you just _lick me_!?"

"You wouldn't get up."

"You _did_, didn't you!"

"I'm glad to say your reflexes are spectacular, Mr. Black."

"Don't avoid the _issue at hand_, ya douche! You fucking _licked me_!"

"Ah, I see your observatory skills are up to par as well."

"…You bastard."

"Will you please shut up, Jacob, and get over here."

"…No."

"Jacob, you've had your childish moment, now, it's time to grow up for the day, so get over here."

"No."

"Jacob."

"Edward."

"Fine. If you want to be like that…"

"Edward, hey. Wait a minute – hey, what are you – Gaggh! Lemme go!"

"No."

"Who's being the child now!? Hey, will you just – Hey, keep your damn hands to yourself!"

"I don't want to."

"Well, you better—Mmmggph!"

Edward pushed Jacob back against the bedding and expertly pried his resisting mouth open using nothing more than his own two lips and seasoned tongue. With a triumphant growl, he invaded the cavern that was Jacob's mouth and began to explore. Jacob gave a snarl of protest and fought back roughly but Edward held him down firmly and refused to relent.

"You wouldn't listen," Edward said upon pulling away. "It was important, what I had to say." Jacob stared at him in horror.

"So you almost molest me because I didn't wake up when you wanted me to, and then you _stop_ because you're too much of a pussy to say what you need to say?" he asked in terrified awe. Edward smirked at him and ran a hand down his side, delighting in the way Jacob shivered underneath him.

"It's been far too long since I've been able to molest you, Jacob, I only did so now because I just _couldn't contain myself_…As to the important news; your family is here and very desirous to see you." Jacob looked at Edward and shook his head.

"You're serious?" he asked quietly. Edward, flush against him already, pulled himself even closer to Jacob's body, radiating protective and supportive love.

"Yes," he nodded. "And, they all wish to see you." Jacob sneered and looked towards the door.

"Without you here, right?" he spat. Edward nodded again.

"Without me here," he confirmed. Jacob rolled his eyes. Edward grinned.

"They're not angry at you," he promised. "Though their thoughts are quite furious, none of the fury is for you." Jacob winced.

"World War III," he barked. "Your vampires have probably got their hands full right now." Edward nodded, casting troubled eyes to the door.

"I'll go and tell them that you're awake," he said. "That should free some of the poor staff's hands." Jacob guffawed but nodded.

"You'll know when I'm done," he said. Edward nodded.

"I won't go anywhere." Edward left one last parting kiss on Jacob's forehead and pushed himself off the bed. A moment later, the door was opened and he was gone. Two moments later, the sound of angry wolves reached Jacob's ears.

As Jacob expected, his father was through the door first, pushing the wheels of his wheelchair furiously as he propelled forward. He spotted Jacob and his face became a mixture of relief, anger, fear, exhaustion and some other things that Jacob didn't want to put a name to.

Following him was Sam and then Quil, Embry, Paul, Leah, Seth, and Emily. She, Jacob knew, must have insisted to come along over and over again until Sam, being the softie that he was when it came to her, finally gave in and allowed it.

"Jake!" she called out as soon as she saw the state he was in. "Jake, how are you? You have no idea how worried we were!" She rushed forward to him and immediately gave him a once-over several times. Sam walked up behind her at a slower pace and gave Jacob a very professional nod.

"Doing okay?" he inquired stiffly. Jacob nodded. Sam sniffed and turned to glare at the door.

"Those leeches are here to stay," he noted. Jacob nodded and gave Sam a hard stare.

"As long as Edward does," he agreed coldly. "Is that a problem?" Leah, standing over in a corner with her arms folded across her chest scoffed in the affirmative. Sam flashed her a quick admonishing glower and she quieted. Embry and Quil looked both as though they had something they wanted to say but refrained from speaking.

"Jake," Billy finally spoke in his gruff voice. "The child?" The silence that descended over the room was tense and oppressive as all eyes turned to Jacob, anticipating his answer. The young wolf felt himself becoming slowly very nervous as their gazes penetrated him.

"Dead and gone," he muttered in answer. "You just missed it." Billy released an audible sigh of relief, Emily's shoulders slumped forward and she brought a hand to her scarred face as a smile spread slowly over it, and all the tension that so obviously wracked Sam's body flew out of him instantaneously. Leah groaned exaggeratedly in the background and Jacob's eyes shifted to her.

"Aw, we missed it?" she mock whined. "Too bad. I would have loved to help." Emily looked at her reproachfully but Quil, Embry, and Paul nodded in agreement with matching grins.

"And don't I know it," Jacob agreed, smirking in Leah's direction. "But, that is why I love you after all, right?" Leah looked back at him with a straight face that she managed to maintain for all of three seconds. After the smile cracked through the glare, her body relaxed and she moved towards the wolf in the bed.

"Whatever, pup," she snickered. Then, looking serious, she added, "But, you are going to…live, right?" Again, all eyes turned to him, but this time, Jacob felt distinctly more comfortable with his answer. Reaching out to his dad, Jacob clapped his hand over a broad shoulder and grinned.

"Afraid so," he answered wryly. "You guys are stuck with me."

And all the smiles that he saw on his family's faces, no matter how small or well hidden, made him feel warmer than he'd felt in a long time, even with the accelerated body temperature.

* * * * *

Edward stood up swiftly at the sight of Jacob's pack mates entering the waiting room. All around him, his family collectively moved away from the door and stood by the wall. As Leah entered, her eyes found Rosalie and the both of them growled threateningly. Seth, restraining himself much better than his sister, shoved her from behind to keep her moving, only wasting a glare on the vampires. Emmett curled his arm around Rosalie's waist and glowered at the wolves. Jasper merely turned away and Alice only watched Edward with stern eyes. Esme was standing right beside Edward with a calming hand on his shoulder.

When Sam entered with Emily and Billy, Edward took a step forward. Sam immediately moved to confront him and gave him a look of warning.

Edward returned the look readily.

"He's sleeping," the alpha growled.

"Duly noted," the vampire growled in return. Sam took one more moment to silently threaten Edward and would have continued had Billy not stepped in.

"Sam," he warned. Sam narrowed his eyes but desisted and dragged Emily behind him to the exit.

"Leah," he called. The she-wolf growled reluctantly but followed obediently.

Billy sat in his wheelchair without a word to the vampires and waited patiently for the wolves to leave.

When they had, he wheeled himself over to Edward, leaned back, and looked right into the fledgling's golden eyes.

"Edward Cullen," he addressed. Edward nodded and kneeled down respectfully.

"Billy Black," he responded. Billy nodded and leaned forward.

"You are, in part, responsible for this?" he asked. Edward nodded, straight-faced and serious. Billy put a hand to his chin and his wide brow furrowed as he thought.

"Uh hmm," he mumbled absentmindedly. Edward watched carefully as Billy came to a conclusion.

"My son loves you," he observed accurately. Edward hesitated a moment, then nodded again, and Billy returned the gesture.

"And you love my son." Edward refused to look away from the deep set eyes of Billy Black as he nodded.

"And I love my son." Edward wisely chose not to do anything and simply waited for Billy to continue.

"And I don't think either of us are willing to lose him." Edward only just stifled a grin and nodded in agreement. Billy nodded as well and leaned forward a little more.

"Don't let this happen again," he said in his husky voice. Before Edward or any of the other vampires could do or say anything, Billy was wheeling himself out of the hospital to wait for his son to come on back home.

He had faith that his son would be fine, and he knew how Jacob didn't like to be stifled when he was helpless.

And besides, he had his vampire pets to help him out if he should need it.

Edward watched the doors swing closed behind Billy Black. He stood and allowed his grin to surface.

"Rosalie, calm down," he snickered. "Your thoughts make you sound like a child." Rosalie scoffed a "shut up" but her thoughts calmed. Edward laughed to himself and turned to face his family.

"Thank you all for being here," he said sincerely. Esme smiled and embraced him.

"It was our pleasure," she replied. "After all, that's what family's for, right?" Edward chuckled and nodded. Alice smiled too and danced over to Edward. When she reached him, she slung an arm around his shoulder and hung off of him like a child.

"What an improvement from the Edward of a few hours ago," she whispered into his ear. Edward turned to her and smiled.

"I'm sorry," he whispered back. "To all of you." Alice's smile softened and she wrapped her wiry little arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"It's no problem. We're always going to be here for you."

"Even if you are an ass." Edward and Alice separated and both turned with a smirk to face Emmett, who was snickering with clear mirth shining in his eyes. Jasper sniggered and elbowed Emmett playfully. Even Rosalie couldn't keep up her angered façade in the face of such family bonding.

"Well, Jacob's stable, perfectly fine, and it looks like everyone out here is doing well, too." Carlisle walked into the waiting room and paused beside Esme, looking over each and every one of his children with laughing eyes. Edward walked to him immediately.

"We're all certainly doing a good deal better than we were before," he said easily, recalling Jasper breaking down before him and Rosalie struggling to contain both anger and fear. "And Jacob is doing well?" Carlisle nodded.

"Just sleeping now," he assured. "He'll be up soon. I made sure that no one was in his room to disturb him." Edward nodded and hurried into the ward, leaving his now rejuvenated vampiric family behind.

He allowed his family's collective gaze to provide him the support and strength he had, before, come so close to losing.

* * * * *

Jacob was, as both Sam and Carlisle said, sleeping. He was tangled up in the sheets, face down, with one arm thrown off the edge.

Edward snorted at the sight. If Jacob was sleeping like that again, then he was on the fast track to recovery.

Edward shook his head and moved swiftly to Jacob's bed, silently. Like a stalker, Jacob had once called it when he had woken up to the sight of Edward watching him intently.

Unlike Bella, Jacob wasn't keen on being watched in his sleep and believed in a little more independence than Bella seemed to believe in.

But, now, when Jacob was like this, there was absolutely no way Edward would leave him for a minute if he could help it.

"I can't believe how close I came to losing you," Edward whispered. "I intend never to let this happen again, Jake." He bent forward, closer to Jacob, but was stopped by a muscled arm.

"What did I say about the stalking?" Jacob groaned into his pillow. Edward laughed and slapped the arm away and continued his journey, which finished with his lips caressing the skin of Jacob's neck. The dog moaned and swiped blindly at Edward, who pulled away and out of reach.

"Go'way!" he whined, shifting his body sluggishly. Edward laughed and sat down on the side of the bed. Jacob shot him a sleepy glare and turned away from him. Edward rolled his eyes and pulled the wolf over to him with a powerful arm, ignoring the almost-shout of protest.

"Jacob, we need to talk about this," Edward said gently but firmly. "Now." Jacob hesitated for a moment but, when he knew that Edward was serious, he pushed himself up with a grunt.

"Ugh, fine, you stupid leech," he growled. Edward's mouth twitched and he snaked his arm around Jacob's torso and pulled. Jacob, completely off balance and not very coordinated from sleep, fell roughly against Edward's hard body.

"Stop that," Jacob complained. "You know, you're abs of steel kinda hurt." Edward laughed at the early attempt at humor and refit Jacob in his arms so the both of them were comfortable.

"Wha'dja want to talk about?" Jacob asked stiffly. Edward tightened his hold.

"Not that you don't already know, but I'll tell you," he said solemnly. He waited to meet Jacob's eyes and only continued when their gazes were locked.

"I almost lost you," Edward said softly. "Because of something neither one of us knew could happen to you." Jacob broke the staring contest and looked down at his lap.

"Look at me," Edward urged. Jacob obeyed, albeit reluctantly.

"Jacob, I will not risk losing you to this again," the vampire continued. "Until we can tell that it will never happen—"

"No sex," Jacob finished with a wry leer. Edward nodded. The wolf smirked and knocked his shoulder into Edward's.

"I wanted to talk to you about that, too," he admitted quietly, eyes still locked with Edward's. "The doc wasn't able to tell me – you know – if it could happen again.

"And I kinda…well…I guess – I _really don't want it to happen again_." Edward nodded and leaned back against the rail at the end of the bed, taking Jacob with him.

"Thank god, Jacob," he breathed, relief still flowing into him, along with the hope that this was all that they would be suffering for a long time. Jacob scoffed and closed his eyes, the drowsiness from before returning to him.

"Don't thank me, Cullen," he reprimanded. "I kinda love you, you know. I'd really like to hang around so it doesn't all go to waste." Edward laughed and laid a lingering kiss on Jacob's hair, so happy that the one he loved _so so much_ wasn't hurting anymore.

"And you know I love you so much, Jacob," he responded. "I'd like to keep you around, too." Jacob nodded against him, grabbed onto the arms that held so tightly to him, and squeezed, trying to convey to Edward that the powerful love the vampire felt for him was reciprocated.

"So…we good?" he asked a little tentatively. Edward smiled and buried his face in Jacob's hair.

"Yes," he whispered. "We're good."

"Love ya."

"Ditto."

"…Ass."

_Fin_

* * *

**Alright, so this is my first fanfiction, which is also coincidentally a fic involving characters from a series which I really don't like all that much. Twilight, in my opinion, has so much potential to be better, but, because of Stephenie Meyer's general lack of writing experience, was executed kind of, um, badly. **

**That aside, I wrote this because I am tired of all the mpreg pieces out there that don't pay attention to the real issues that would be prevalent when a male is pregnant. I turned this into an exploration of the different relationships between characters about half the way through, so, if it seems EdwardJasper-ish, then that is why. I, personally, am not a fan of that pairing. I tried to add much more EdwardJacob, which I love! **

**I own nothing except this fanfiction, and I'm kinda glad about that. But, if I did own Twlight and the plot and the characters, I would have manifested the very canon relationship between Edward and Jacob. Seriously, if anyone has seen New Moon, they will know immediately that this is just an exploitation of the very real and very evident sexual tension between these two boys that is shown in the last scene of the movie. **

**Alright, I'm sorta proud of this, sorta not, so I hope you all enjoy it. Drop a line or two on the way out. Thank you mucho!!**


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